This is an excerpt from my journal when I went to Paris for the first time in 2006. Paris ignited my heart and opened my mind. It was the first time in my life I was truly honest with myself. I learned what it meant to live in the moment. That to have passion in every moment is not exhausting nor does it mean you have to act like a sappy ass who is perfect and happy 100% of the time. Being passionate means you might step on someone's toes once in a while. You might lay on the floor crying because you burned dinner or dropped a wine glass after a stressful day at the office. You might take longer to enjoy each moment too as you sit and absorb your senses and surroundings. Take a deep breath, taste the air. Pay attention to the details.
I'm also in love with Paris because it is where I started a passionate romance with Gman.
19 Juillet
I just shared a fantastic night with Gman. We went for a walk down the Champs Elysee. When we started walking, we thought that it looked as if it might rain, but decided to take a chance as it was so lovely outside. I was wearing a white cotton dress that I purchased (in French!) at my favorite Parisian shop, Maje. Gman said that men and women were turning their heads to look at me. I felt confident and sexy as we walked along sharing stories and ice cream cones, arms around each other as if we could not walk close enough.
As we approached the bridge leading to Les Invalides the sky finally opened up. It started pouring rain and our brisk walk turned into a jog, hand in hand. Normally I would have been upset because my hair and dress were wet but we were laughing too hard for me to notice.
As we ran along lightening cracked the sky and lit up the gardens and stone walls we passed. Car lights and street lights lead our way back to his apartment. As we ran past Les Invalides, we paused to see the Eiffel Tower sparkling as it does at the top of each hour. It was a good excuse to steal a kiss in the rain. As a resistant hopeless romantic (I'm an art historian, duh!) it was only a moment for my dreams, a scene out of a movie or painting that I thought would never happen in real life.
When we finally arrived at the apartment, we changed out of our soaking wet clothes and shared some treats and wine with his roommate. The laughter and lightheartedness continued late into the night.
I asked Gman later how he can live so passionately as I had not yet discovered how to. He said, if I don't live passionately then what's the point?
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